The idea is that you reach out to people and instead of asking them to do things for you, you add value to their lives.
|This is in Colorado! I 💜 mountains|
When networking or job searching, expecting that other people have any interest in you or your background is a naive mistake.
You could have a masters, a Ph.D., or an MBA.
It is safe to assume that no one cares and no one wants to help you.
When you message someone on LinkedIn hoping to get some kind of help from them, you are powerless.
They may or may not even respond. They may or may not say anything helpful. They may or may not be encouraging.
When you ask someone a question, unless it is adding value to the person, you may very well never hear back.
You wait, and you wait, and the dangerous thing about waiting is you could be waiting forever.
So, don't wait.
Don't wait for anyone to respond or for anyone to help you.
In a situation where you need help from someone, only one thing is certain: you have no control.
Good news is that accepting this reality is very empowering!
You can free your mind to think and do the things that are in your power.
Such as, reaching out to people and adding value.
Think about it: how hard is it to reach out to people in general?
Could be pretty hard especially if you don't know them and especially, especially if you are not used to doing it.
Then think: how hard is it to reach out when you really need something from them?
Do you feel nervous or awkward to be in that position of needing something?
Now think about reaching out to people solely to give them something.
Giving could be in different forms.
Maybe you are complimenting them on their LinkedIn profile.
Maybe you noticed a cool achievement or skill they have.
Maybe you are sharing that you went to the same college.
In all of these cases, you are not asking them to do anything for you.
You are in giving mode.
Wouldn't you feel much more relaxed while doing so?
You could add value while sending a new connection request, and chances are you will make that connection.
You might enjoy being in giving mode so much that you free yourself completely from the stressful parts of networking and job searching.
You are focused on giving and the other things are just taking care of themselves!
I really enjoy how giving is so much easier, relaxed, and stress-free. It is free from desperation.
You are not expecting something to come off of it or anything, you are just doing it because you enjoy doing it.
Constantly expecting results can really bog us down and take away from experiences.
Whereas giving is kind of like going on an adventurous journey without much care for the destination.
If you are new to networking, the path of adding value or giving may feel like a really long road that leads to nothing.
You might feel like you have no time for that sort of thing, and you go:
Just give me a job!
Well, feel free to try it the way where you are not adding value and see what happens after a couple of months.
Remember that although giving may feel very slow it is the ONLY thing you have full control over, and so the only thing that will build over time.
Those relationships and friendships you build through giving take time, so get started!
Adding value is not a recipe for immediate outcomes, but it is the only way I know how to network.
Try it and I think there will be magic.