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I saw this question “How much crying is normal?” on Reddit under the GradSchool subreddit and decided to address it here as mental health is the main motivation behind starting this blog.
On the one hand, it is totally OK to cry.
On the other hand, if it is getting in your way of normal function, then it is not OK.
It is time to get help.
Mental illness is very common in graduate school.
Good news is like with many other illnesses you can take deliberate steps to get better.
Make use of your student health insurance and student health center to see doctors and counselors.
It is challenging to take time out of an overwhelmingly busy schedule to do this, but you and your health are worth it.
Typically, unless things get beyond some threshold of bad we don’t go to the doctor.
I did the same thing.
Graduate school does not exactly encourage a very healthy lifestyle.
At one point my anxiety issues got so bad I could not sleep.
I thought about work literally 24/7.
I could not turn off.
So, I went to the doctor hoping for some kind of quick and easy cure.
Like Ativan.
But she did not write me a script for Ativan.
Instead, she said I should exercise.
Dammit.
I don’t know if she was right or wrong to do that but I tried to follow the doctor’s orders.
Mainly, I incorporated swimming into my schedule.
I love water and swimming really helps to calm me down.
They say if your heart is racing, dunk your face in cold water :/
Well, swimming does that for you.
Over time, I found the benefits of swimming to be so great that I made more effort to keep up with it.
I realized what was happening.
I was learning to be more healthy – I still am.
Graduate school is tough and poses many problems.
But I realized that these problems are opportunities to learn how to be healthier.
If nothing else, let’s learn to live a better life.
And remember that you deserve better than being miserable all the time.
Lastly, I do NOT want to imply that swimming is the solution to all mental health issues.
I am just sharing what helped to alleviate some of mine.
I am not a health professional so I really do not know the answers related to your health – I only encourage you to seek the help you need.
The “How to PhD” blog and book
If you are feeling overwhelmed or stuck in graduate school, you are not alone. You can get help to navigate those situations both in this blog and in the book. It is packaged more efficiently in the book, of course, which is why people have found it worthwhile to just get the book. The information is presented step-by-step there and in an organized manner.
Having said that, I am not trying to push you to buy the book. I am perfectly happy if you just read the blog, too! I want you to succeed and to know your options for getting maximum support during graduate school and after. That is my ultimate goal.
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